The Truth Sets Us Free

 All seemed well on the lake, then suddenly, for reasons Alex couldn’t remember, the canoe capsized, throwing him and his friends into somewhat cold waters. The thoughts and beliefs ten-year-old Alex formed that day left him afraid of canoeing. As I coached him, I was able to help him see that he was caught in a mental distortion termed “overgeneralising”. He believed all future canoeing experiences were going to be the same, tragic, and high-risk. This is an untrue thought that shows up in many peoples thinking. The mind whispers, and because people are not in tune with their inner dialogue, they come to believe that because something bad happened once, this means it will always happen to them.

As you can see from Alex’s experience, what we think not only affects how we feel (Alex became afraid of canoeing), but also how we act or perform in life (Alex temporarily quit canoeing, and he was never going to perform well while he held onto the belief that everything was going to go wrong).In our sessions, I helped Alex to replace the irrational thought, “The canoe capsized last time, so it will capsize every time”, with the truth, “Just because something went wrong last time, it doesn’t mean something will go wrong this time”; and Alex was able to regain his confidence and try again. He is still confident today. Many learners would improve their confidence, happiness, and success if they were given the tools to deal with their inner dialogue—the thoughts and beliefs they hold about themselves, people, events, and the world.

Some common overgeneralizations:

Thinking error: “I’m terrible at taking exams, always have been, always will be”.

Correction: “I didn’t do well on the last test, but I can do better on the next”.

Thinking error: “Nobody likes me”.

Correction: “While he may not like me, I do have some people who care about me”

There are over 7 distortions that I have seen can show up at any age, as I have coached individuals from ages 8–65. These errors flow in the quiet of many people’s minds, uninterrupted. As they flow, people suffer heavily in different ways, depending on the errors they are allowing to roam in their thoughts. I want to help learners become more in tune with their inner dialogues, to help them widen their inner fields of vision so that they can take away the thinking errors that are keeping success, happiness, and clear thinking away.

The benefits of changing our thoughts can be felt instantly, and after 14–21 days, thinking true and accurate thoughts can become habitual. The brain is rewired as a result of practicing thinking true and accurate thoughts.

An article published by the National Science Foundation noted that we have between 12,000–60,000 thoughts per day. And of those thoughts, 80 percent tend to be negative, and 95 percent are repetitive. Put another way, we have lots of negative repetitive thoughts. The great news is that new and healthier patterns of thinking can be developed.

Whatsoever is True

By Takudzwa Biston

When what we think, ill or well

Wounds or soothes, emotions tell

The form of the thought that fell.

Many thoughts which often fill,

Forming a colossal hill,

Fade resolve and now our will.

Gross distortions in them show.

Raising turmoil as they flow;

The depression that we know.

Help us, God, the lesson learn,

Untrue thoughts away to turn,

All our days as they return.

So, we’d know and people hear,

Of our joy and sunshine here.

Our distress would disappear.

Positive mood we would keep,

Motivation we would reap,

All be bright, where now we weep.

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What is Emotional Intelligence?

Nathan (not his real name) is an intelligent man, who is respected for his views on church history and religion. And while his intellectual intelligence wins him respect, his emotional intelligence loses him this respect. His anger often boils and spills out in words and actions he later regrets.

We all have feelings and emotions, and life has colour because of it, but very few people today are in control of their feelings and emotions. Anger leads many to say and do things they later regret. Persistent feelings of distress make it hard for many to operate, to learn, and to motivate themselves to accomplish their goals.

When we want to better manage our feelings and emotions, what we really want is to have higher emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is our ability to manage our emotions; But in order to manage our feelings and emotions, we have to be aware of our feelings and emotions. And this means part of emotional intelligence is to be more aware of our feelings and emotions. It is from this self-awareness, that we can better manage our feelings and emotions.

Emotional intelligence is important because thoughts give rise to our feelings, feelings lead to our behaviours, behaviours form habits, habits shape character. The character and mind learners bring to learning determines their success.